A lot of the time I try to keep things upbeat and positive. It’s easier that way, and I’d much rather be happy and full of joy than moping around feeling sorry for myself. I believe that good energy works wonders, and I am so grateful for the thoughts and prayers that are being said for me. Not a single one of them goes unnoticed, and I can truly feel the goodness in the air around me.
Back in September of 2015, when I was first diagnosed with AML, people poured out of the woodwork and I was blown away by the love and support that surrounded myself and my family. I never could have imagined the sheer number of people who sent well wishes, or provided my family with dinner, or any of the countless kind and selfless acts people made for me and my family. It was humbling, so very, very humbling. It was so incredible, and I was so thankful and felt so indebted that I could not even feel like I could begin to pay back the kindness that was shown to me. It was so profound and so genuine… how does someone repay that? Where would I even start? It was a movement of people and thoughts and prayers that absolutely just baffled me.
And now it’s happening again.
To have such support once is an incredible blessing. But twice… twice… if I was speechless before, then now I’m even more at a loss for words. Where “thank you” didn’t feel like nearly enough once, it covers so much less this time around.
I am blown away.
If ever there were times I doubted the goodness of people, or if I have lost my faith in humanity, it’s out pourings of love and strength and faith and kindness like this that show me that there are still wonderful, considerate, lovely human beings out there, and I am so very fortunate to be surrounded by so very many. Sometimes, I admit, I don’t feel that I deserve all the unwavering love and support. Sometimes I feel like I’m not worthy of it. It seems so strange to me sometimes that I have such a brilliant and strong community of people surrounding me from near and far.
I can’t begin to imagine how helpless some people must feel about my being in this situation again. But please know, if you’re reading this and you’ve done so much as thought a nice thought towards me, I feel your words and I embrace them with all that I am. I feel the good energy and I thrive on it. I truly believe that that good energy helped me the first time around and I have no doubt that they will work the same incredible wonders this time around. So please know that my appreciation runs deep, and I am so aware of the goodness that surrounds me.
Thank you all, again, from the bottom of my heart.