Pube Soup

There comes a time when the chemo finally sinks in and claims its hold on the remaining bits of a person, in this case, me.

The Pubes.

It happens every time, and this is what? The fifth time? Yeah somthin’ like that. Well, it’s that time again, folks! Pube Harvestin’ Season! Grab your hoe and get to work!! To be honest, this is one of my favorite times of the whole “fighting-cancer-FOR-A-FUCKING-SECOND-TIME” thing. It’s an event that I rather eagerly await. And now– now the time is here!!

See, two days ago it was only like one pube here and there, I guess a normal shedding of pubes? Nothing too exciting. But now! God damn, those suckers need the slightest pull and they come out in bunches. Ya like bunches of bananas? Well now I’ve got bunches of Pubes. I’m  not fuckin selling them, of course, that’s fuckin nasty. But you get my point.

Pulling them out is addicting. Like, ya pull one or two bunches and then next thing you know you’re rockin’ a reverse landing strip or something. It’s quite attractive. But also what happens is, when I take a bath, I realized that I create a delightful soup of pubes. Pube Soup. Today’s soup was delicately  accented with Stress Relief bath bubbles (eucalyptus and spearmint), finished off with some chemo fart filtered through. So basically they were poop-scented bubbles. Tasty!

Last time this much-anticipated event occurred, I was sitting in my shower at home, contentedly harvesting away. I don’t remember if I’ve made this confession yet but I’m guessing not since I was shit at updating this for like a year, but no matter. I was enjoying this almost ceremonial event, and, of course, had to fill in the parents and the lil bro in on my pube-venture. As a result, I was dubbed “Clitler” thanks to the creativity of my family along with the result of the pube-harvest… so that was a good time.


There’s a certain special ring to that, don’t you think?

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